Did you know that we make sounds?
More than the coo of a baby, or the lullaby of a sweet mama, deep within us there is an orchestra pouring out, hymns at our innermost core.
I’m intertwining my soul with Barbara Brown Taylor’s, as I trace her words in Learning to Walk in the Dark, allowing her revelation to pierce the darkness I’ve come to run from. & in the one part she speaks of these people who are in the desert, completely alone, & how they hear two levels of hums. Later on, they find out it was the sound of their own bodies, doing the same thing it always did in a less crowded environment.
They heard their own bodies like the engine of a car,
or like an airplane whooshing overhead.
Totally physical. We’re talking ears that hear.
& the trees talk, you know. Or so some have said, as there are classes on how to listen to the trees talk. Trustworthy friends they are, though, as the one’s who’ve heard the whispers wouldn’t dare reveal the secrets left behind through the rustling leaves in the wind.
I hear of these marvelous wonders. & that is precisely what they are to me. They are marvelous & they are wonders meant to sit on, meant to open closed doors in our mind. Because we are so quick to discount anything science can’t define, rather than basking in the mysterious size of our God. Sure, we’ll allow the what-if’s to barricade us in these small living rooms, content with what we know & what’s already been accounted for. Sure, we allow the what-if’s to tie us to other wandering souls that are pulling opposite directions. What if I get struck by lightening? What if he’s the one? What if this time really is the last time? But the what-if’s that take us deeper?
Oh, heaven’s no.
But what if there is just a melody exploding from every fiber of your being rain or shine?
What if when God said let everything that breathes praise his name,
what if he was really just saying to do what you do & be who you are?
What if he was really just saying,
Hey, I love you a lot & you glorify me best
when you’re just being who I made you to be?
Because we’re so hooked on doing more, & I think if we asked ourselves why the purest answer is we want more love. We want to be more loved. Would you agree? Consider it. Even if you think you’re really just trying to find some sense of accomplishment, accomplishment is achieved through recognition. We want a pat on the back. We want someone to see us & adore us & say she’s worth it. She’s valued.
But can I tell you something? That doesn’t work on God. He’s not charmed by our appeal, as we dance around the Rescue Mission. As we bake cookies from scratch (oh, no she didn’t), welcoming our small groups from church into our homes. As we volunteer to fly half way around the world to distribute shoe boxes to children in celebration of Christmas. He’s not swayed. He is unchangeable. & the part that doesn’t change is that he is always good & he has the kind of love for us that could bring a young girl to dance around the kitchen. The kind that makes a man take a second look. The kind that gives you the same butterflies you get when your mama would speed over those mini hills in the winding back roads.
He loves you like that.
Before you get out of bed. Before you brush your teeth (gross). Before you’ve had your cup of coffee & before anyone can talk to you. Before you brush your hair & before you wipe off that smeared mascara. He loves you before. He loves you first.
& so these things we do. The time we set aside to read our Bible & meditate on his words. The time we set aside to pray & the time we turn the volume down in our car to hear him more clearly. The time we pay for the strangers coffee & volunteer to help in nursery with the children with the gooby noses. These times aren’t earning us more love. Recognize that.
These are the times for our song to be sung. For our love for him to surface. Here we find the joy of knowing him.
His love for us is already complete. It’s our love that is becoming. It’s our love that is growing deeper roots & sturdy stems through our acts of obedience & sacrifice. Every yes, a deeper love.
We obey because through it all, we find him. In the crevices of every planned & unplanned event, he is there waiting to be sought.
He is there, love, within you at your core. & you are pouring song out to him, audible or not. You’ve got it in you. You just be true. He’ll shine.
It’s your turn, love. Break the silence. Spill your guts.