TOTHEUNTAMEDHEART.

First off, I would recommend your reading all of Colossians chapter one, verses 15 through 23. If you have a hot second, pray for understanding, open a new tab & read it, or grab a Bible. Because I’m going to touch on a quick couple sentences, when really the whole section holds such power, it’s all I can do to lift my hands in surrender.

This is yours, Lord.

& so that part that reached me, that reminded me of everything I fail to remember in the midst of my not meeting par, it lives in four sentences.

You were his enemies, separated from him by your evil thoughts & actions.
Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his own physical body.
As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, & you are holy & blameless as
you stand before him without a single blemish. But you must continue to believe
this truth & stand firmly in it.
COLOSSIANS 1:21-23, NLT emphasis mine

Three vital things to let sink deep into your heart of hearts.

1. He brought you into his own presence.

2. You are holy & blameless, not wearing a single blemish.

3. You must continue to believe this.

He gave you the tug.

Because we always say that ‘we came to Christ when’, when in reality we didn’t come willingly, apart from his tap on the shoulder & shake of our hand. Just as the two disciples on the road to Emmaus didn’t recognize Jesus until he allowed them to, as he broke bread (Luke 23), we know Jesus by his unveiling our hearts to see him for who he is. Usually, we throw our hands in the air post traumatic life happenings, when we finally see Christ as our only hope & our best thing.

& one last note on this, where I fail tremendously. I always imagine myself walking into his presence when I feel like I’m having a great day, & I imagine stepping out of the throne room when I’m not feeling worthy of his attention. But the thing is, every time, he draws me in. Yes, the Bible says when I draw near, so does he. But first, I was carried by Grace in the flesh. & even though I feel like I have some magic power to slip in & out of his presence, the thing is, nothing can separate me from the love of Christ. That’s bible, too. So on my bad days, am I really sneaking out the back door of his presence like I think?

I’ve come to believe that that’s when it’s all most real, when we enter our thin place. When we can practically hear God most audibly, feel his arms all around. We think that when our life has seemingly gone up in the air & we’re free falling with no parachute & no nearing end, that God hasn’t been working out quite as frequently & has lost his grip on the weight of the world, sending it crushingly onto our shoulders.

But, love, it’s a lie.

Because I know he feels the weight. I know he bottles every tear that trails these cheeks. I know he loves me the kind of unconditionally in which he lets someone else die so I could live & so that him & I could brave these conversations & share in those knowing glances. So how does this weight that strips these bones dry & grounds these knees reach his presence & he still have the strength to command the sun to rise & the self control to remind the ocean waters of their boundaries?

He is sturdy. He is gravity. He is faithful. & on the occasion of the inevitable he is our Father & his arms are wrapped around us. He is our comfort. He is our strength. & he, my love, reels us in.

& did I say your spotless?

It’s hard for me to grasp. Because I like to fling a new clump of invisible mud on myself each time I fall short. I picture everything after I asked The Lord to have full control over my life, piling into two mountains, one being a load of goodness, reflecting his image, two being a load of dung, smelling up the whole house. & though it’s true when we allow the bad things to make home in our hearts that it adds a little stench to the place, we are not unrepairable. We are not ruined. & in the presence of God we wear Christ like a onesy, & all he sees is holiness, righteousness, & blamelessness. We are without fault. Because when Christ died for one sin, he died for them all. Everything covered. Everything reconciled.

& where we close our eyes & tap our ruby heels,

where we believe, that’s where the sparks live. It’s not different than in James, when he says to ask & believe in God, that if any one is capable, it is him (James 1). Because the thing is, if we read once that God has made us blameless & holy, that he has chauffeured us into his presence, & we don’t cling to it & live like it, what good is it?

Believe. Believe that God’s love is ridiculously cheesy for you, that he constantly is taking you by the hand, begging to show you his wonder & power. Believe that the cross was enough, & that it still is. That through Jesus Christ we are completely reconciled to God- no more awkward elephants in the room. That we are loved & spotless. That we are his.