31 days to coming home: the devil at our heels.

We make it easy to hide behind a mask.

People using Facebook for finding a mate, text messaging for problem solving, & Netflix to cure our restless mind. We are the runners. The ones who do & do & do but we do the wrong things because, though we know in our hearts there are more right ways, we lack the courage to stare the enemy in the eyes & say you have no place here, get under my feet. Deep down, we hide behind Facebook messaging to tell the girl she’s beautiful, so rejection loses its sting. We text our best friend how they really made us feel the other day, so we don’t have to look them in the eyes. We watch Netflix when our mind is mass chaos, because we’d rather bury ourselves than sort through undefined emotions.

I write a lot of pretty things. Pretty, untamed, glittering pieces of gold from my heart. But sometimes I struggle, & sometimes things aren’t pretty, & they’re living in my heart, coexisting. They hurt like a blister on the heel of my foot, unrelentingly reminding me of the precise spot rubbed raw. Here I am. & I hide it, trying to walk in a normal fashion so nobody knows that the fire of hell is scorching my heels.

So I guess my question for you, love, is
can you relate?

Because I think oftentimes we think hiding the scars & struggle is unveiling the heart all the more. We think that if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all applies to everything under the sun. So instead of speaking to our grey days, when the gloom is heavier than the sun, we talk of bright things. Now, I am not opposed to a positive thinker, but I am opposed to living in denial. There’s power in confession, as there is power in positive thinking.

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other
so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person
is powerful and effective.”
JAMES 5:16

It’s like the moment you apologize after a week of the cold shoulder, the moment you admit you’ve been struggling with your weight after months of loud mental voices & calorie counting crumbs. When you share, there’s a release. Because the problem may not be cured, but it’s not binding you anymore. You see, I think that the enemies goal is to silence. Quiet our faith, quiet our passions, quiet our battles. That’s how he wins. Because when we are silent in our faith, fear is driving. When we are quiet in our passions, the world is incomplete. When we are quiet in our battles, we are alone.

Can I repeat that last line?

When we are quiet in our battles, we are alone.

So we don’t speak of troubles, we tuck away the sore spots, & wear the mask of I’m happy & I’m exactly where I want to be. Because the voice we allow to pierce the darkness is telling us that we’ve better keep quiet, because we will definitely be isolated if we confess this mess. So rather than allowing others to do the honors of leaving our side, we leave theirs. Do you see the game, sugar? The enemies got years of experience & this ain’t his first rodeo. He knows.

I’ve been battling with kindness. & not the kind of ‘nice’ that is sweet in the morning & happy on the good days & encouraging towards her friends. No. I’m battling the kind that actually counts. The tough love. The kind the Lord requests of me, no matter the circumstance. Love everyone deeply, sweet child, because love covers a multitude of sins. He doesn’t ask me on a scale of one to ten to rate how cruel they’ve been toward me. He says the easy love doesn’t count quite the same. What good is it if you’re nice to people who are nice to you? They should not have control over your moods or your kindness. Love them faithfully. Love them sincerely. Because love will put out the fire.

Speak, love. Pick a friend or a sister or a mother. Pick somebody, & tell them more than the pretty things that have been happening. Tell them the things that are breaking your heart, the things that are holding you back. Tell them your sins. Tell them the flaws you’ve allowed to fester, the negatives you’ve glossed over in excuses. Face them. Stand up. You are not covered in shame. You are not alone, & where there is confession, there is prayer, & where there is prayer, there is healing, strength, & deliverance. Speak.

“Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything
that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven.
“For where two or three have gathered together in My
name, I am there in their midst.”

It’s your turn, love. Break the silence. Spill your guts.

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