TOTHEUNTAMEDHEART.

written by: Dayna Sammartino

I woke up in a daze with you standing there
You smiled goodnight and I began to dream
You come and go like the leaves of autumn, yet your scent remains locked in my skin
You tricked me into breathing and seeing the universe through the clouds
The snakes on your illuminated face move but I cannot hear what they are saying
If I could set the hands back to the night where my veins went lucid, I would drift again and again
Sanity is lost but the fever remains
You are the time traveler that left the moon to let me taste the air
No sensation, no word, is adequate to explain the separation of the waters
They continue to flow their separate ways while the gods plan a union of souls
One dries and the other drowns all beings that step in to swim
I awake now in a daze with you standing there
I smiled goodnight and you began to dream
We trade bodies for the night while the souls station
We smile goodnight and begin to dream.

 

The events we go through in life are unfathomable to me at times. With all of the monotonous motions of our average lives with work, family, and school, I sometimes wonder, “what is the point of our existence”? Last summer I met someone totally by chance and through a risk. This individual forever changed me. Personally, I think each person we encounter in our daily lives enter for a reason. I often dream of this individual due to the lasting impression he left on me, especially when we were at an emotional distance. Our relationship is far from perfect but sometimes you meet a person who can trick you into breathing and see the universe through the clouds. Whether people come and go and like the leaves of autumn, their memories often remain. What can be dull in one moment can turn into a mesmerizing adventure the next. With these sudden changes, it is easy to feel overwhelmed, especially when life does not go as planned. When I felt at odds with this individual and with myself, I had dreams involving the two of us. I believe that if a person enters your conscious thoughts throughout the day and they are met again in dreams, it is the brain’s way of sending you messages you may be too oblivious to recognize. I cannot always explain the dreams my brain produces, or the feelings in my heart, but I know that there is much more to our existence than simple routine- it is the people you meet that ignite the fire in your heart and the insanity in your head.

& I think if there was anything she said that struck me, it was the fire in monotony. Because we see these days as simply one step closer to Friday, one hour until we’re off work, & one day closer until our birthday, but these days. This hour. Will it burn a month from now?

So I realize it’s all nerve. Nerve that carries me through every hour feeling like it’s really just a time filler, feeling as though the people that I touch during this hour or the things that happen in this moment will all blend in with the rest of the hues of grey. But the thing is, I saw the man who stole my heart forever in a picture on my phone in the usual flipping through of Instagram newsfeeds. I got the news that my sister was pregnant at my desk at work with no clues to hint me in the direction the day would take. I picked a little girl up at school & went to work & gathered boxes to pack my bags with the day that turned to the night that a sudden stomach ache would turn into the loss of a baby I carried for six weeks.

There’s fire in the monotony.