TOTHEUNTAMEDHEART.

written by Paige Baker

The future scares me. School, friends, finding someone to be with, and making sure that all of these choices are the right ones for us. Do I belong here? Will this be my niche? It can get pretty scary if we do not have things aligned in the right order.

“Therefore, I will never be defined by my past, because it is finished” –Louie Giglio

Telestai, meaning, it is finished. These were the words, in the English version that Jesus spoke out while hanging on the cross before His last breath. When we are saved, we forget that Satan is finished also. While being away at a church conference, called Passion, I was clarified about a lot from Louie Giglio. He quoted, “The snakes head has been cut off, but it is our job to not let the snake attack again. Even after the head has been removed, the snake can still shoot its venom at someone.”

This metaphoric statement often plays a huge role in many peoples lives and mine as well. Satan loves to attack. He loves to attack someone with sadness, anger, temptation, and loves to take the value of someone away. By value, I mean their self-worth, confidence, and esteem. People feel like they have no significance, and Satan loves to make everyone else around him believe that it is not finished. This ongoing war will never die out. That is where we are wrong. It is finished.

It has been a journey through many valleys’ and at greater times, the mountaintops. My freshman year of college, I think I have my life all figured out. I chose my major, in which I have now changed three times already, I have my friends, I’m single, and I love life. Well, it definitely took a turn. I ended up first semester in nursing school, and that was a bust. I was not doing well in any of my classes, lost half of my friends, and got tangled back up into a tough relationship. Then second semester hit and I changed my major to Early Childhood Education. So far, this has been the best decision I have made yet. I reached out and found new friends, and tried making this tough relationship turn around for the better.

This major has brought great ideas. I get to be around children, reach out and help others around me, and hopefully be able to coach soccer apart of the schools. It is also a great area to raise a family. But then the doubts start to click in. I fear most that I may not be good enough. I may not succeed and get to where I need to be. I fear what if this is not the plan God has for me? Am I settling because I feel I fit in nowhere else? But then I have to stop.

All of these questions start with and eventually result to what? I. What does ‘I’ have to do with anything? I am not in control. God is.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

For I need to know that God controls my plans, and He holds them in His hands. We forget that this life is not in our control. It is not our decisions, but His. I lose sight in that way too much. I get lost in the stress that takes over my life, and that is when I try to fix things in my own eyes, rather than giving it to God. Another reference back to the Passion conference, Christine Caine spoke on being laborers for God. In order for God to work in us, we have to work for Him. We were not put on this earth to live for nothing; we were born to live for Christ. “Greater is He in us, than what is in this world.” I mean that could not be anymore true. So often we forget to leave this dark world behind that fills our heads with thoughts of doubt, self-consciousness, anxiety, etc.

Lately, I have changed my heart. I always thought I had it all figured out, the “God thing”, as people would say, but after coming home for Passion my whole entire mindset has changed. We cannot go through life just living in the motions. We need to stand out, be in the light of God, so others around us want to question why we are the way we are. We cannot just sit around talking about what we need to do for God, but rather we need to go out and do it. Create this harvest with others and work for Him. Everyday we are given a choice of how we want to live this life, and at twenty years old I can finally say that I have chosen how to live my life. That choice is living for Him. I can admit, at times I feel like I want to give up and just lose hope, but I have to know that God is in control. There are going to be really hard days where we have our aches and pains that want to bring us down, but that’s when we have to burn those bridges. Eliminate the negative. Say goodbye to the insignificant things that enter our lives.

We get caught in life worrying about impressing people and always worried about what they think of us, but we have to remember that these careers, hobbies, and people are only here for the time being. God is eternal, and we need to worry about that the most and then everything else will eventually fall into place. Christine Caine quoted, “This life we live for a calling. What we do, where we work, it is not our careers, and rather, it’s a calling.”

The more I keep that in mind, the better I feel about going into Education and growing up. Those doubts and fears creep in and out, but they disappear more so often than usual if God is the center of my life. I walk on this earth to serve Him, and reach out to others to share the gospel of His word.
If I work for God, He will work in me.