To The Untamed Heart.

This sandwich season where moms are hard pressed on both sides between winter and the final start of spring is hard. Can I get an amen? My boys, 7 and 9, are living their lives as a 10 on the energy scale, living life at a pace that feels as though it is leaving skid marks in my brain as they run around me acting like feral children 24/7. As they run around me, I feel a bit like the eye of a tornado- but not in a peaceful way. My insides feel the swirl of the wind they’re creating as their fast-paced torrent kicks up every ounce of calm around them. My house is not okay right now.

I have been venting to friends about it, hoping to start my own less important me too movement from the ground up. But, truly, wow. As I type this I have asked them to hibernate in their room, trying to ordain the main floor my own quiet abode for an hour, or until dad gets home.

I’m sure it sounds so silly, but the way chaos weighs on my mother heart. My heart that values quiet, calm, order, walking,… they can make me feel things. They can change my mood. And so in this season, when it feels like the dust has become a wall around me, swirling with the litter of Nintendos, math books, open snack containers, and I want to throw a cow in here just because of Twister,… it is just like the Lord to reveal to me the onset of revival in my children.

. . .

We were driving to our Thursday homeschooling co-op, listening to a Mercy Culture sermon. Pastor Landon was relaying the Lord’s demand for fruit in this season, and a call for the church to have prompt obedience, examining their own areas that need strengthened. We were about five minutes from the church when I shut it off and asked my three youngest children what fruit of the spirit they lack that the Lord is asking them to strengthen.

Luca, 9 years old, immediately replied self-control and gentleness. I was floored and immediately in awe of his ability to truly examine his heart and know this about himself. It was spot on.

At first, Leo, 7 years old, tried to copy his brother. But as we talked a bit more, prying into his heart and pointing out some ways he might struggle, he agreed that his fruit to begin a good work on were patience and peace. Again, for my child diagnosed with PDA and autism level one, who gets nervous over every day demands of life enough to throw up pretty regularly, who also is known for his rash behavior when he is met with a challenge, this felt pretty accurate.

Emmy Sue Promise, 4 years old, boldly declared her lack of sleeping in her own bed, which although true, missed the boat a bit. Luca piped in, “I know what Emmy needs to work on! Kindness.”

I immediately shut that down and blew it off as a big brother remark. Fast forward to the end of the school day, with Emmy Sue venting to me about a friend’s ‘unkindness’ and telling me that to get her to stop she told her ‘this is only a game for THREE girls’, I felt the ping of truth in Luca’s initial observation. Yes, we talked about this, I texted the mother, and we apologized to her bestie the following day at ballet. But all this to say the Lord is calling us into a sensitivity and awareness of our lack, and he is demanding us to throw off what’s holding us back.

. . .

Today we were on our way home from Monday’s therapy sessions when Luca asked me if he could fast. As I went to say no, I thought twice, asking, “fast from what?”, opening a door to a whole conversation between the three youngest and me, where they asked questions about fasting, how long papa fasted, what he fasted from, what they could fast from, why we fast, etc. After Luca had asked a second time if he would be able to fast, I said something like, “I would like you to bring to your dad and I a better idea of exactly what you’re asking so we can seek the Holy Spirit’s wisdom and make sure this is a good plan that is from the Lord, and not a fleshly decision,” to which Emmy Sue Promise (again going to reiterate she is four years old) said, “But mom the Holy Spirit is present. He is with us right now, beside us.”

Here is what I want you to get- sometimes the enemy tries to divert our attention from a deep work the Holy Spirit is doing. Sometimes in parenting we let our titles as mom and dad/family life override our ability to see what the Lord is doing in all His children- them and us. But just as Leo has been reminding me every day, “mom, you are my sister in Christ,” I want to remind you- your children are your brothers and sisters in Christ. When we view them through that lens, it’s a little bit different, is it not? I was listening to a podcast today that talked about how reformation prepares for revival and the root word for reformation means to reshape. That is what God is doing right now. He is drawing our children to look at us as fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, and he is reshaping our view of our children and our God-given role/identity with them. He is turning the world on its head, and handing the kingdom to His children.

I am going to put this in bold, because if you read nothing, read this-

There isn’t an age restriction on revival.

Revival isn’t some adults only, club. Sure, the Holy Spirit can speak to them in ways they understand. But what if we believed for a second that the matured Holy Spirit could speak through them with power, authority, and understanding?

Revival is happening right now. I see it in my children. They are experiencing the Lord in such an intimate, challenging, authentic way. And I don’t want to be so caught up in being mom that I miss it. I don’t want the adults busy being adults to miss it. I don’t want you to miss it, friend. Revival is evident.