A couple months ago You Tube sensation Jenna Marbles posted a video entitled Dear Fat People, the content sparking controversy over whether or not fat shaming is a thing. While everyone was taking sides through social media outlets and sharing their captivating opinions, I was mortified, hiding under a table. Maybe not literally about the table part. But WOOOOW. Guys. Really.

This is the part where I stumble over my words. I even thought about rematching the video again, in hopes it will give me some great one liner about how awful the whole thing was, but the knot in my stomach is forbidding me.

Somehow this girl thought it was comical to post this for laughs, and the cool kids with the great sense of humors laughed, and all of us humans with hearts died a little inside, because where are we that its funny to bash someones size and what stereotypes follow into step? You couldn’t find something else to laugh about?

I’m kind of disgusted by us all, all the skinny people who think they call all the shots and set all the rules.

Think its not true? Why do we discuss what not to wear? Why do we wear leggings for pants but in turn tell everyone if they are over size 7 that we don’t want to see ‘that’? Why point out the muffin tops, back rolls, and cottage cheese legs?

Don’t go into defense mode with me. I am for you, skinny loves, but I am also for big, voluptuous loves that I can’t fit my arms around, and sometimes you are not for the ‘bigger’ crowd. Sometimes you think you are the definition of beauty and they are less than you. And sometimes you think that there is nothing you cannot wear, as you walk yourselves out of your houses in your bralettes, and point and laugh at the girl whose just trying to wear her leggings to the grocery store. I just want it all to stop. Stop with the bossiness and the looking down on. How about standing beside all woman? How about encouraging them to feel good about themselves and feel comfortable in their skin?

Maybe we skinnies think encouraging the curvy is bad, because what if they, like, get too content and think its okay to be overweight?

And what if they do? What if we create an atmosphere where people don’t feel like if they gain weight people will pity them? Why do we feel like its such a compliment to tell someone overweight that they are beautiful? Why would it catch us by surprise?

I have gotten a little side track, but I won’t delete any of it because it all matters. Lets just agree to keep pressing on, shall we?

If you are reading through this finding this hard to hear, I am so relieved. Lesson learned, lets be better.

Lets be people who could give a rip how big the girl next to us is and whether or not she should be allowed out of the house in that outfit. I am all for modesty, but I am also all for keeping my focus off such silly things like who wore what. Who cares, ya know? Let’s be her best friend, shouting OW OWW MAMA on the other side of the mall. Lets be genuinely kind. Lets compliment and not turn to our friend and say what we really wish we could say. We are better than that. Lets leave it at kindness.

Lets be less vein and be real people digging for the true gold in everyone. Lets not be that girl who when asked the best quality of our best friend, we respond with what great hair she has, how big her boobs are, or how tiny her waist is.

To the girl working out every morning at five am— rock on sister. To the girl who may be mistaken for a tree branch due to her lack of curves— keep it up. To the big girl who doesn’t work out and loves Dairy Queen— you go girl. Let’s be real, here. Let’s truly not care.

Our lives are worth so much more than trying to set the rules for others and trying to follow the rules and still be true to ourselves. Forget it. STOP BEING BULLYS. & let’s move on.

It’s your turn, love. Break the silence. Spill your guts.

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