Joy, sorrow, & the in-between.

“Yet, what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later.”

Romans 8:18


Loss is something all too relatable on earth. We lose relationships, people, jobs, houses, businesses. You name it.

I was living the in-between earlier this week, having taken up shack in the place where I could feel the hollowness of loss as if it has already happened, though I was not meant to be there. I was meant to be in the place of blessing, but I was too wrapped up in fear of the goodness being stripped away from me in this season to allow myself to feel the joy of the gifts God had given me.

I knew what is good is not what would be lost if God chose to change my path, because I am all too familiar with the fact that He is good and always does what is best for us. But what is best isn’t always pleasant. Sometimes the best things are deafening, they are the very things we say we can never live through, they are the things we could never survive again.

But I was thinking about this scripture in Romans, thinking about how many times Paul probably said he could never survive that again before he lived it all over again, and his response to this life he had been dealt—

This suffering is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later.

In college I learned about the attributes of God, and while I was trying to look up the perfect way to describe to you what that even means, I came across the perfect description on the Navigator’s webpage : ‘they are specific truths he tells us about Himself so we can know what He is like, and be drawn to worship Him.’

One of these truths is that God is good. Its who He is at the core. It’s what He is good at.

Can you just truly grab hold of that today? It’s what He’s good at, love. He is good at giving good gifts and being a good Father and making good calls for us.

In Lysa TerKeurt’s book Uninvited, she asks us to “imagine how differently you might approach each day by simply stating: ‘God is good. God is good to me. God is good at being God. And today is yet another page in our great love story.’”

So earlier this week God changed our path, as my husband and I found out we lost another baby. In the midst of the waiting for results, I couldn’t help but feel a peace. Losing a child, unexpected, planned, 9 weeks old, 30 weeks old, its all painful. But to know that this, too, has purpose in my life. That this, whether it be the act of carrying a baby full term or losing a baby nine weeks in, this is meant to take me deeper. Its meant to build my faith.

I don’t want the shallow faith of living everyday routine. I want the kind of faith that is worn and leathered from the depths and heights it has been. I want the kind of faith that has out stood the desert and the flooding.

I am closer because of what I’ve been through. I am closer because I have been able to recognize the difference between sorrowful circumstances and a God who is good at being Lord over my life. I am closer because I can see how the two co-exist. They can & they will co-exist.

In this season where the world tells me I am losing, God calls me victorious. (Romans 8:35-37)

That, my love, is astounding.
Its the kind of overwhelming that when you read, the tears catch.

No matter what you are going through and how much of a failure you feel, no matter how broken you feel, you are victorious. Why?

Because we know that God works all things for the good of those who love Him.

Because we know that He is good at being God.
Because we know when the rain pours, He is still faithful.

So bring on the rain.
Sweep me into the deep.

It’s your turn, love. Break the silence. Spill your guts.

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