Finding your people.

Unpopular opinion: I think we undercut the importance of identifying our people.

For a while, I felt guilty for building close friendships.

I know that sounds absolutely ridiculous, but let me explain a bit.

I was under the impression that being a Christian in one body meant showing no favoritism. I thought that the solution to cliques in the church was to try and be equally close to everyone- which, in turn, kept me close to no one (because that is overwhelming business right there). I thought I needed to hide these gifts of relationships with roots to make others feel comfortable.

And I think there is some truth to striving to extend love to others through our not prioritizing our friends at certain functions. I’m not saying to not listen to the great commission, here.

But I think there is another bitter root here that we are allowing to grow within the bride that is actually a problem within ourselves.

Recently, I’ve felt the Lord asking me to see the beauty in other’s friendships. Friendships that I’m not a part of.

And the way He keeps presenting it, asking me to see the beauty of the offerings each of His daughters have to bring to the table- tables that I might not even sit at- and, yet, to love and appreciate them.

To love and appreciate the moves of His Spirit that we aren’t a part of.

As sisters, we can let the jealousy rise up or the voices rise up that tell us that because we aren’t at the same depth as those two, we don’t belong and aren’t valuable to them. And if we’re honest, that tends to happen more often than not. But not anymore.

The Father is calling us into a new season. He is asking us to behold the beauty of His daughters. He is asking us to admire and appreciate the beauty of intimate relationships without needing to be a part of it. To thank Him for tucking and tying loose ends into place.

Psalm 101:6 says, “My innermost circle will only be those who I know are pure and godly. They will be the only ones I allow to minister to me.”

With that, He is also calling us to identify our inner circle. Don’t feel bad for paying attention, seeking out, and searching out your people. Your person. We can’t pretend we don’t need people anymore. We need you. All of us. Which means we need you to need, want, and desire us. We need to stop waiting to be reached and start reaching.

When we identify our innermost circle, we can be purposeful with our innermost circle. When we are purposeful with our innermost circle, we can filter out the voices we shouldn’t be allowing to speak over us.

All too often, we let the wrong people minister to us.

We let the people who don’t know us at all speak lifeless things that sting and leave us running backward, leaving what we thought were our gifts in the dust.

That person who spoke that over you? The one who hasn’t spent time with you to know you? The one who hasn’t spent time with the Lord to know His heart for you? The one whose fruit has wormholes and soft spots? You need to filter that out because that person is not in your inner circle.

I’m not saying you need to start a fight with them to stand your ground. I’m saying to wage war on those words that threaten to uproot every good word spoken out by your inner circle. We can’t let both live anymore. We need to actively care for our hearts and minds. We need to keep them holy and pure and centered on the heart of the Father.

Lord, uproot the seeds of hostility in your bride. Demolish the walls we’ve built to protect ourselves as we repent for not trusting you to protect us. Scatter the seeds that need homes to flourish within. Loosen your multiplication of fruit. Recenter our faith on the voice of truth, the visions that you’ve sealed in our heart, with the encouragement of the disciples you’ve sent to do life alongside us. Give us pure eyes to see your beauty. Remove us from the center, Lord. It’s you. It’s you. It’s you. Amen.

It’s your turn, love. Break the silence. Spill your guts.

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