Baby Steps

First of all, HI!!! It’s been awhile. I hope you all are so great and have been crying at every post that my beautiful friend Sam writes like I have. 
I’ve been busy 

Too busy 

Doing unnecessary things
My full time job took over my life in a very negative way. I was unable to focus on myself, my son or God. I’ve just been in limbo, floating through life with no destination and no anchors. Almost like I’m playing an apathetic game of Marco Polo where I’m just blindly reaching for anything and not really caring once I find it. I was seeing my son for about 24 hours a week because my job consumed my life. I had no real friends and the ones I did have were hurtful and toxic. I was very slowly falling backwards into my old life 
    I unexpectedly quit that job. I had enough one day and knew it was time to leave. I got a new job a few hours later. It’s less hours (but more money) so it all kind of worked out. I knew it was God’s way of rewarding me for knowing I had to get out of that situation. 
    So all of that to say a few things: 

1. God blesses your scary leaps of faith. 

2. It’s okay to walk away from something that isn’t healthy. 

3. Living in genuine peace is vital 
    Number two probably seems obvious but as anyone who has been in unhealthy situation can tell you, it’s A LOT harder than it seems. Sometimes you feel too attached. Sometimes you feel too scared of the repercussions. Sometimes you feel like maybe you don’t deserve better. Maybe you are even worried about what your family or friends will think if you leave. 

    I can tell you right now that the joy and peace after leaving something unhealthy greatly outweighs the fear and uncertainty. 
You ARE worth far better 

You WILL receive blessings for making the right but hard choice 

You CAN move on 
God cares about each little detail in your life and he won’t let you fall. He might take you to the breaking point but he will always be there to lift you back up. Know that every hard time will be counteracted with beauty. Stay joyful and stay peaceful. 
Peace is a fun little word that is hard to explain. Peace isn’t necessarily contentment which is what I think so many of us unintentionally assume it is. Peace, to me, is in the midst of turmoil, being able to take a breath and smile. Being able to look at your situation and say “wow this sucks but look at this gorgeous sunset happening in front of me”. Being able to find the flicker of joy. Finding rest in Jesus. 
If you’ve read any of my other posts, specifically my first post ever, you know that my life has been pretty rocky. I’ve dealt with addiction, abuse, single parenthood, you name it. 
I promise you. I’m telling you from the other side of those things. 

They get better. You’ll get better
Peace is hard and life is hard and I struggle every day but my prayer for you is that you are able to identify your unhealthy situation whether it be a relationship, a job, an addiction or a mindset and have the strength to stand up and walk away. 
You just have to take that first little step and God is right there with you. 
And I’m here too 💗 

It’s your turn, love. Break the silence. Spill your guts.

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